Assignment 3 Evaluation
Adapted
news script:
In this task we had to adapt a news script
about education after the age of sixteen for primary school children. We had a
time limit of 30 seconds for the story, which equates to around 90 words. I
started off by reading through the full story and picking out the key details
such as different kinds of education available after you turn sixteen and the
contact information. I then researched the way in which features for younger
children are written by looking on the CBBC website and reading some scripts
for Newsround. Once I had an idea of the vocabulary and structure they were
likely to understand I jotted down initial ideas of how I could explain what
things like vocational courses were. From looking at scripts targeted at
similar age ranges I deduced that using examples is a good way to explain a
point without repeating yourself, so when I mentioned vocational courses I
linked it to learning to be a hairdresser.
The feedback I received was all positive,
most people remarked that my inclusion of a phone number for parents to call
was a good idea. It gave people an easy way to find out more, which I couldn’t
cover in a 90 word script. It was also commented upon that my use of the term
“free money” when talking about bursaries would appeal to the audience, both in
the fact that children don’t really have access to money and that they would
not know what a bursary is. The style of my script would fit in well in a
Newsround type show with its informational content, like telling people about
the health benefits people with highly paid jobs have over those who are on
lower incomes. It might however be slightly too formal for the target audience,
I decided not to use slang or dumb it down in any way as I thought I could get
the point across by using clear explanation and reasoning. I have used language
which would appeal to the target audience, for example by saying “get in
trouble with the law” is aimed at children, using trouble instead of get
arrested is more relatable to them. The main convention which I’ve used is
plugging the contact details at the end of the piece and the fact that I’ve
said “get your parents to call” is another thing which is usually said when
targeting a younger audience.
Adapted
fairy tale:
For this task we had to find a fairy tale
and update it for a modern setting, I chose the classic children’s story of
little red riding hood. To bring it into modern times I made ‘Red’ wear a
hoodie instead of a riding hood and set the story in an inner city housing
estate. Instead of having a big bad wolf as the villain I decided to use the
modern fear of a strange man preying on the helpless as no one in todays world
is afraid of running into a wolf in a dark alley way. In researching the story
I say that the classic “all the better to” lines were in pretty much every
version of the tale so I thought that I would have to include this convention.
I have appealed to my target audience by including messages such as listening
to your parents and not talking to strangers, also the updated references would
appeal to a modern child. The language and vocabulary used would also suit the
audience and the conventions of fairy tales because it is simplistic, words
like ‘big’ and ‘strange’ aren’t too difficult for younger people to read and
understand. I have however included some words like ‘cautiously’, which might
challenge a child and help them learn. I would say that content wise, my story
obviously differs from the original but in terms of teaching children lessons and
using the right balance of complex and none complex verbs I think it does
adhere to the norm.
Summary:
Adapting pre-existing text to fit my own
purpose is very different to creating your own work, you have to look into the
values and point which the original is trying to get across. When creating your
own piece you have your own message and ideas to put forward. If I were to do
this task again I honestly don’t think I would do much differently. I believe
that my scripts were good and fit within the conventions of the original
texts. However I do think that I could
have made both of the scripts more informal, which with my personal writing
style can be difficult. The informality of a text for young people would
usually appeal to them more than something with a more organized structure. For
the adapted fairy tale I think that there are parts of the story which I spent
too long on and some which I have almost skipped. In conclusion I have learned
much more about researching for a specific target audience which I don’t fit
into. This will help me in all of my future assignments because I now know that
the audience completely dictates the style and way you create or adapt a text.
David Burd.
